It occurred to me that it’s a term that may not be all that familiar. I’m sure though most people have heard of Velcro? Super sticky; it hooks and clings and is hard to shift. A bit like our thought world.
Our minds are thought generating machines that are constantly busy observing, analysing and categorising; offering us conclusions and evaluations about ourselves, other people and the world around us…many of them negative, because our brains have an evolutionarily developed negative bias. We tend as human beings to automatically accept the conclusions that our minds offer us, without always stopping to question how accurate or how workable those conclusions actually are. The workability factor is key.
Not only do we tend to automatically focus more naturally on negative thoughts, they also drive our patterns of behaviours which can become increasingly rigid and repetitive over time; they become unworkable. We become fused to our thoughts, just like Velcro, and we can become reactive in our behaviours. De-fusion is when we learn to observe thoughts for what they are; simply a conclusion of our minds. One version of a possible evaluation, which may or may not be accurate, may or may not be true, but chances are it’ll often be not all that helpful because it doesn’t move you closer to what matters to you in life; where you would ideally like to be or the kind of person you want to be.
By using defusion techniques, we can change the relationship we have with our thought world; develop some space and perspective. This allows you to choose how you want to respond to your thoughts. When we learn how to unhook from sticky thoughts, we are more free to choose the behaviours that are more workable; like choosing to spend time with loved ones rather than avoiding it because our minds tell us that we are too anxious to cope. Even if that contact has to be, for the time being via Zoom or Skype!
Take good care.